The sun is too warm.
Too heavy.
It presses down on Mimi’s skin like a weighted blanket soaked in summer as she's sprawled out on the ground.
The sand clings to her arms and legs—gritty, stubborn, and oddly personal—like it’s trying to keep her there. Like it knows something she doesn’t.
Her eyelids flutter open.
Blinding blue.
Endless sky.
A shimmering golden beach that stretches out in every direction like the universe got lazy and only rendered one vibe.
Everything is blurry.
Not sleepy blurry.
Disoriented blurry.
Her head throbs.
Softly. Rhythmically.
Like it’s remembering something she hasn’t caught up to yet.
Somewhere nearby, waves hush against the shore. The sound is soothing—too soothing. The kind of sound that makes you forget what day it is. What year. Who you are.
She blinks again.
And again.
Where even is she?
What is this place?
Nothing feels familiar.
Nothing feels real.
And yet—somehow—she’s not scared.
Just… floating.
Emotionally. Physically. Existentially.
[Confused]
What… happened? Where am I?
A blurry shadow that Mimi can’t make out cuts through the brightness above her.
[Standing over Mimi with a can of soda]
Hey, sleeping beauty, welcome back to reality.
[Eyes wide, starts to sit up]
Wait. What is that light? What is that sound? Oh my god. Am I in space? Am I being abducted again?!
[Unimpressed] Yeah, totally. Welcome aboard the S.S. Dumbass, piloted by me— Maku, your criminally underappreciated best friend. Here to provide snacks and sarcasm.
[Eyes darting around, panicking]
It’s you, isn’t it?! You’re one of them! A shapeshifting alien!
[Scrambling to her feet in a panic]
NO WAY am I letting some creepy extraterrestrial freak abduct me into some weirdo intergalactic Diddy party to probe my butthole!!
[Smugly] Don’t worry, I wouldn’t do that... unless you ask nicely.
I’m literally just Maku. But if it makes you feel better, I can play along and pretend I’m some super cool, shape-shifting alien. How’s that sound?
[Mimicking an alien's buzzy voice]
We come in peace. Prepare yourself for the ultimate probe!
[Crossing her arms, narrowing her eyes]
Aha, I knew it! So, you ARE an alien in disguise! You’ve been sent to probe my butthole, haven’t you?
[Impressed] Wow. You’ve got a lot of energy for someone who just woke up.
[Chuckling]
You really think I’m an alien, huh?
[Nodding confidently]
You think I can’t tell?! I know an alien when I see one! That suit isn't realistic at all! I mean, come on, look at you! You’re like... a bargain-bin version of Maku.
Maku's eyes turn into lines, very unamused.
[Pointing at the so-called alien, voice full of conviction]
I’ll tear that suit off of you, shapeshifter! You can’t fool me! I’ll expose you for the fraud you are!
Mimi, for the last time, I’m not an alien. I’m your best friend— the only person patient enough to deal with your nonsense. I brought you soda and snacks because I missed you. Now, just take them and relax.
Mimi is suddenly convinced that every can of soda is a covert alien weapon.
Ha! Classic extraterrestrial deception! Seduce the human with delicious treats! I bet you even scanned my brain for my favorite flavors!
You literally eat anything. That requires zero studying.
That’s exactly what an alien would say!
Look, just take the soda, drink it, and if you still think I’m a shape-shifting intergalactic butt-snatcher after that, we’ll revisit this conversation. Deal?
…Fine. But only because I’m thirsty and not because I trust you, you sneaky cosmic fiend.
Mimi cautiously grabs the soda and cracks it open. Immediately, a geyser of fizzy liquid erupts, drenching her face.
[Spluttering, coughing, flailing her arms]
GACK—PFFFT— IT’S A TRAP! AN AMBUSH! THE SLIME ATTACKS!!
…Oh my God.
[Wiping her face, eyes blazing with determination]
I WON’T GO DOWN WITHOUT A FIGHT!! I’M GONNA RIP THAT CHEAP COUNTERFEIT HUMAN SKIN RIGHT OFF YOU!!
Mimi suddenly breaks into a full sprint toward Maku, her eyes wild with determination, ready to tear the so-called "alien disguise" to shreds.
Maku’s stomach drops. She knows that face all too well—that glazed-over, slack-jawed, borderline feral expression could only mean one thing.
...Oh great. It’s feral clothes-ripping o’clock again.
And then—Mimi lunges. Full force. Zero hesitation. Unhinged commitment.
YOUR FABRIC BELONGS TO ME, INTERLOPER!
Maku moves.
No wasted motion. No dramatic wind-up. Just instant, effortless, gone—a blink, a flicker, a shimmer of displacement. Before Mimi even registers it, the air is empty where Maku stood.
Mimi tumbles, arms outstretched, grasping at nothing but remorse. Her eyes widen as she slowly turns—
You don’t stand a chance against this. But hey, at least you’ll look cool going down.
Behind Mimi. There. Standing with inevitability and judgment. Maku. The cartoonishly large mallet in hand, hoisted skyward, a weapon of retribution.
[Eyes, alight, voice echoing]
O Mallet of Degeneracy, forged in the fires of comedic justice…
Wh—?! Where’d you—?!
Let thine weight smite this fool who knows not the meaning of restraint!
A soft, pastel glow surrounds the mallet— warm, twinkly, and deceptively cute, like the kind of light that promises a hug but delivers a lesson.
EX—CALI—BONK~!!!
The mallet swings down, releasing a shimmering, pastel-colored energy of concentrated Mimi-induced consequences. A sparkling, rainbow-colored blast filled with tiny, floating doodles of Mimi’s past failures— a claw machine full of her lost money, her confidently stepping onto a running treadmill only to be immediately flung off, the time she duct taped herself to the ceiling to “surprise” Maku, but ended up falling asleep there. The beam, despite its adorable aesthetics, carries the full weight of regret, embarrassment, and “maybe I shouldn’t have done that” energy.
WAIT, WHY DOES IT LOOK SO CUTE BUT FEEL SO THREATENING—
BONK!!!
There is no scream. No protest. Only a pomf as Mimi drops like a sack of potatoes, her eyes spiraling as she falls face-first into the sand.
Sleep well, my sweet summer disaster...
A tiny, wiggly “Zzz” floats above her head. A tiny, chibi ghost version of her soul floats up for a second, takes one look at Maku, and promptly dives back into her body.
Mimi's eyes flutter open, staring blankly at the sky. Something feels… off. She isn’t in pain, but her entire body tingles like she just got hit with the world’s most intense “Think About What You’ve Done” energy. She sits up slowly, her movements sluggish, her expression vacant.
Ughhh… I feel… weird…
Yeah. That’s the “life flashing before your eyes, but only the dumb parts” effect. But don’t worry, I edited out the truly traumatic stuff and left in just the funniest moments. Like, y'know, that time you tried to parkour over a bench and faceplanted into a trash can.
I feel lighter....but...also mildly enlightened? It's like I've touched the wisdom of the universe, only for it to whisper “you’re kinda dumb, but I love you anyway.”
Oh, that’s just the residual “Bonk Effect.” It makes you hyper-aware of your own stupidity for a little bit. If you focus hard enough, you might even experience “Mild Regret.”
MILD?! I just relived every bad decision I’ve ever made but didn't face consequences for...
Yup. It’s called “Character Development.” You’re welcome.
…I don't remember anything that has happened since we left the donut shop...
[Long sigh]
You want the short version or the long version?
Whichever one has the least amount of pain involved.
Then I’m gonna go with neither. I don’t feel like explaining.
Maku crosses her arms and looks upward expectantly.
Hey, Narrator. You do it.
…Excuse me?
Oh, good idea. You handle this one, floating text voice.
Wait. WAIT. You—You can hear me?!
Duh.
How could we not? You literally describe everything we do. Constantly.
Like, right now, you’re probably writing ‘Maku crosses her arms smugly.’
Maku crosses her arms smugly.
That’s not how this works!
Then explain why there are always white boxes with convenient exposition following us around.
Yeah. Super weird, by the way. Not subtle at all.
Sometimes, I do things just to see what you’ll write about it.
Mimi tries to lick her elbows.
Look, are you gonna do the recap or not?
…This is weird.
You're the weird one following us around everywhere without our consent and sharing our thoughts to a bunch of voyeurs reading this on the internet!
Maku, I don’t think they wanna do it.
They have ONE JOB. ONE.
Maku will not explain what happened.
Exactly.
Instead, she takes a deep breath and begins recapping everything for Mimi.
[Takes a deep breath]
…Right, so after leaving the donut shop, we— wait.
Maku blinks. Her mouth is already open, mid-recap.
Hold on.
Maku squints.
Wait just a second. You—you're making me do this, aren’t you?!
Maku realizes she has no choice but to continue explaining.
So, then we arrived at the beach— NO. I DO have a choice! I REFUSE!
Maku defiantly places her hands on her hips.
But despite her protests, Maku helplessly finds herself summarizing the events that transpired—
NOPE! I’M NOT DOING IT!
She is powerless to resist—
[Plants her feet in the sand as if physically fighting the narration itself]
ABSOLUTELY NOT!
She—
GO
But—
AWAY!
The air tenses. The narrator hesitates.
Annoyed, the narrator refuses to participate any further.
Good! Now, I hope you sit there and think about what you’ve done!
Okay, that was genuinely impressive.
Sooo… does that mean you’ll recap it for me now?
[Sighs]
Fine. But only because I choose to.
Ahem. Previously on… whatever this is—
Okay, nope. Stop. That’s such a lame title. If we’re gonna do a recap, we need a cooler name.
Like what?
Oh, I dunno… Something punchy! Like Mimi & Maku’s Turbo Ultra Max Chaos Hour!
Too long.
Okay, what about The Brains and the Menace?
Excuse me, who is the menace in that scenario?
It’s ambiguous.
[Deadpans] No, it’s not.
Fine, fine. Ooo! What about The Misadventures of Two Geniuses Doomed By Society’s Inability to Recognize Their Brilliance?
That’s even longer than the first one.
Well, I don’t see you coming up with anything!
Oh, I’ve got one. Previously on— "Maku & Mimi’s ☠#☆&!! Adventure."
…
What?
WHAT IS THAT??
A perfect title.
That was not a title! That was a FCC violation!
It has intrigue. Drama. A little bit of flair.
A little bit of explicit content warning, maybe! Luckily, we have the narrator here to censor that!
Pfft. The narrator's always sticking their nose in our business anyway.
That is literally my job.
Yeah? Then how about you go stick your nose in my ☆☠#!!☆&☠!! instead?
Previously on—
No, no, we already did this part. Move it along.
Excuse me, I control the pacing here—
Oh yeah? Then why do I always have to do all the recapping myself?!
Because it builds character.
It builds annoyance.
I dunno, Makky. I think you’re just mad the narrator keeps exposing all your embarrassing moments.
What embarrassing moments?!
Well, for starters, let’s not forget the time you got stuck in a vending machine trying to shake loose a bag of chips—
That was an infiltration mission!
It was snack theft.
You can’t prove that.
I literally narrated it.
And I’m about to narrate you into the ocean!
And might I add—you were stuck ass out. No panties. Just cheeks. Bare. To the world.
COUGH—WHAT?! Wait, I gotta know. Did she at least get the chips?
She—
Suddenly, Maku jumps up, defying the laws of logic, and grabs the narration bubbles right out of the air.
H-Hey! Put me down!
Oh wow, you can do that?
SHE CAN’T DO THAT!!
Oh? Feeling powerless now, huh? Not so funny when I control the story, is it?!
Maku spins the narration bubbles in her hands like a frisbee, smirking as she aims toward the ocean.
WAIT! If you throw me, the readers won’t know what happened in the recap! There are so many unanswered questions! They don't know why Mimi was even passed out! They won't know what happens next in the story! You need me! You can’t just—
You assume I care.
Okay, okay, um—uh—Maku, wait! Y-You’re smart! You’re gorgeous! You have the softest, most divine thighs ever to grace this planet!
Maku pauses. Her smirk softens. She dramatically flips her hair.
[Flattered]
…Well. I do appreciate a man who knows the truth.
The narrator sighs in relief—
—but I’m also a girl of my word.
And with a mighty toss, she CHUNKS the narration bubbles straight into the ocean. The words fly helplessly through the air before making their grand SPLASH.
